Why do we challenge another person concerning who is right or wrong when we disagree with how they are seeing something that we do not see? We immediately want to tell them that they’re wrong. We cannot change anyone; we only can change our reaction to someone else, not them! This is the most important piece in a relationship; to look at where we are within it and not immediately try and blame someone else for how our feelings.
What are we so afraid of by not being responsible for ourselves but always looking into the other person to find fault so we do not have to look at who we are? Why does the truth make us feel so vulnerable when we are with another? Doesn’t intimacy require us to speak a common language? That would be speaking the truth! But the truth can make us feel so much less that it becomes easy to run from it.
The problem is without it there is not a genuine relationship but one that eats up each person’s ego bit by bit. Telling each other that we are wrong all the time makes the relationship a competition rather than a true connection. If our ego needs to be right all of the time, we do not do well in relationships. Can you imagine two people with the same issue together?
If we are more focused on the other person’s issues, we are not participating in the relationship, we are trying to be better than the other. Why would we need to feel better than the person we love? Is that really loving someone, only when we can feel “better than”?
We need to look to our side first before we try and condemn someone else. Knowing who we are in the relationship and being able to be responsible for that person with truthfulness is our primary goal to achieve. Without it, we are lost in fighting and silence!
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