We know that we have hurt someone and that they are suffering from our distance and righteous attitude yet we cannot tell them we were wrong. Why can’t we say these two simple words?: “I’m sorry”.
Maybe they aren’t really that simple. No one is perfect and no one is always wrong. These are two given facts of life. We are not better or less than anyone, we only can claim to be different. I am different than you and you are from me. Different does not mean that I am thinking I am the Dali Lama and you are a street urchin. It means I see things different than you do. Sometimes we can hurt each other in arguments and say ugly things to each other yet we defend ourselves on why we said it, not saying, “I’m sorry”. There is always going to be some excuse not to say it. Do we think that at the time we are saying something to hurt someone else that we actually are telling the truth and it does hurt? It is better to walk away from such an argument and think about what we have just said. We will find that it is a mixture of some truth and anger at the time. It is the anger that creates the need to get back at someone else for it hides the real feeling of being not good enough in someone’s’ eyes. This rejection is cause for retaliation and can we do some damage when our egos are bruised.
Remember when we had to say we were sorry to our parents when we didn’t do anything wrong! How many times did you ever hear them say that they were sorry for something that they did to hurt us?. We probably got some lecture as their way of not taking responsibility for themselves or maybe they never ever said it. Did we learn this from them? Adults to not have to say I’m sorry to children or in fact even to their peers. How sad that we will continue this mode with our own children or even worse we will say I’m sorry to them even if they something bad for fear of becoming our parents. Look, what’s right is right. We do not have to be a “perfect person” who never does things that hurt others. We just need to be human and know that saying I’m sorry for what we have done makes us a better person, partner, parent or child. Who do we need to say we’re sorry to before it is too late? Saying “I’m sorry” is all about giving to someone who has been hurt by us. What a better way for healing to begin!