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Negative Love

Why do we continue to love someone who clearly does not love us back? We try to be who that person wants us to be but we only feel ”abused” and misunderstood instead. We begin to believe that we are not good enough, offer nothing to the other person, and only see that our flaws are the focus of criticism all the time. Why do we put up with this before we actually begin to believe that this is who we are?

We must remember that this is really not about the other person, we brought our low self-esteem to this relationship and now we are paying for it and playing it out. The more we are put down by the other, the more “love” that we want from them. You see, we gave them permission to determine who we are! How sad it is for us to allow another person to determine how we are to feel about ourselves. If they like us, we are loved and if they do not then there is something wrong with us. How many of us have felt this way before?

Wasted LoveNo one can determine our SELF-WORTH! We have brought this bad sense of self to a relationship so why would we meet someone who sees beyond this if this is who we have presented? We need to remember that we meet people in life for where we are at, not someone less or better than ourselves. How easy it is to not fight for oneself but to allow another to identify who we are. Time to get over this and work on bettering ourselves rather than letting someone else determine who we are!

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